Thursday, March 21st, 2024
One of my newer chickens has earned herself a new name. Back a few weeks ago when it started to get a little warmer out, she began hopping out of our electric fence. So, I would go out and put her back inside the fence only to find her out again a little while later. One day I think I put her back in four times. Thankfully, she is a very friendly chicken and lets me pick her up without making me run laps around the fence first. We finally decided to clip one side of her wings to try to keep her from hopping out. While I would love for them to free-range, I really don’t enjoy them being a fast-food stop for foxes or hawks. Well, interestingly enough the day after we clipped her wings, out she flapped again. While a part of me wants her to stay behind the safety of the fence, there is another part of me cheering her on in her attempts for freedom. And this is her new name, Freedom.
I can’t help but feel a little bit like her. I don’t want to stay bound any longer by the boxes that the enemy has tried to keep me in. I don’t want to hide behind the walls I have built to try to keep myself “safe”. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of this life being afraid of failure, pain or my own inadequacies. I don’t want to think life is good enough and settle into my comfort zone.
Psalm 139: 23-24 is where I want to be:
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Sometimes I think we get too comfortable with our lives. We press forward with our to-do list believing that if there is something that God wants to do or fix, He will show us. And yes, there are times that He will do that, but what if, more often than not, He is waiting for us to ask Him to, or at least to give Him permission?
The word search from the above scripture in the original Hebrew (Strong’s) means to penetrate or to examine intimately. This means we are allowing Him to go deep. We don’t want Him to just fix the surface level issues, we want Him to dig up the stuff that only He knows about. Our heart in this scripture is referring to our soul, will and mind. All the places that can either make or break our walk with our Heavenly Father.
The word wicked in the original Hebrew (Strong’s) means idol. This puts a different spin on it. A lot of us are pretty sure that we are not wicked in the sense of committing sins like murder, stealing or adultery, but (based on my own experience) it’s a lot harder to deny any and all idols. Idols are sneakier and could even be things that on the outside appear to be righteous. These things could be different for all of us, but it’s essentially anything that we put before God.
Final Thoughts…
So why would anyone ask for this kind of inner search? Because we all, like my chicken, want freedom. While we don’t always enjoy having our weaknesses or broken places revealed, we know that it’s here that we find true freedom. With each idol removed and anxiety-for-faith exchange we become more and more willing to allow God to shine His light in our dark places. The old saying is true, freedom isn’t free. It cost Jesus’ life on the cross and it will cost us too. We will undoubtedly have to sacrifice our comforts, our feelings, our time and our priorities. But anything that doesn’t require these things won’t produce true freedom.